


Saddle Up Homos

by DoveFanworks



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Gen, I don't even know what's gonna appear in here, brotherhood era, centaur!Prompto, centaur!au, rating for (potential) horse racism, the one where people from Niflheim are horse people
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-01-06 20:42:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18395987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoveFanworks/pseuds/DoveFanworks
Summary: We got a war to win.Just one-shots and drabbles and bits and pieces that didn't fit into the "plotline" of Rein It In, so I'm just gonna put em all here.





	1. Finger Feet

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Rein It In](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17671250) by [DoveFanworks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoveFanworks/pseuds/DoveFanworks). 



> As it says on the tin, this is just where I'm gonna be shoving all of the stuff that isn't important to the the main "plot" of Rein It In. All of it will be going here. These will be mostly oneshots and drabbles (hopefully) far shorter than the main chapters, just fun little ideas and things that hit me or hey, maybe ones you guys give me? So hit me with ideas and I might just pick one up!  
> I might also dump all future sketches and art for this AU in here, though I don't know if I'll move all the other art over here or not yet.
> 
> Also I'm sorry the next chapter is taking so long;0; University has been thrashing me and this next chapter really fighting me for some reason, but I think I have most of the issues worked out now and it hopefully won't take much longer. It's a long one again;0;
> 
> Anyway, I know way too much useless information about horses and their anatomy so here we go with some cursed horf garbage

“Gods your legs are weird.”

Well, Prompto had lost count of the amount of times he had heard that before, but Noctis seemed to be going for the record of most times he’s heard it in a single day. He was sitting pretty on six currently.

“Gotta admit, it’s weird seeing just the bones for me too, bud.”

“They were weird before I saw this spooky shit though.”

The Royal Lucian Museum of Natural History was pretty damn impressive, but until today he had only ever marvelled at it from the outside. The ancient building was truly massive, all carved stone columns and high-vaulted ceilings, the exterior enshrouded in thick coats of emerald ivy and the interior gleaming, polished walls and floors. It was easily the largest in the city and host to room upon room of stuffed beasts and artefacts from thousands of years before them and the real, honest to gods remains of people. And amongst all of that, were the reconstructed skeletons of both a human and a centaur, side-by-side for easy comparison, not that it took much to spot the differences.

And yeah, it was kinda weird. Photos weren’t quite the same as seeing the real deal, carefully posed and polished so they shone almost falsely in the spotlights directed on them.

“You realise human legs are just as baffling to me, right?” Prompto said, gesturing down towards the human figure’s feet. Like, why did humans need so many tiny bones for something you just stood around on? It felt like overdoing it. Just a bit.

“What’s baffling about them?” Noctis grumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets and slumping against his side.

“Like… toes?” Prompto said, gesturing with more energy, “what’s the point of them?”

“…the fuck do you mean?”

“Language, please Noct, you’re in public,” Ignis’ familiar accent cut off whatever type of argument might have been about to begin. Noctis groaned, flopping even more of his weight against him and pressing his cheek into his fur. Prompto snickered at his friend’s expense, bopping him lightly on the head and ignoring him when he tried to push up into his hand, like a cat.

Honestly, he was shocked Noctis had even wanted to go with him to the museum, it felt like a place he wouldn’t get any joy from at all. Yet the second he had somewhat mournfully revealed that he had never been inside, both he and Ignis had jumped on it and refused to let up until they had a full day locked down to tour the whole place.

Though he had noticed Noct was beginning to display more and more of his signature drowsiness as the number of hours they wandered the halls steadily ticked up, for the most part he seemed content just to be with them, listening to their eager discussions even if he didn’t always contribute. Which was just as well since he and Ignis couldn’t help stopping at almost every exhibit to have a lengthy talk about it, or to snap some photos in his case.

He deeply appreciated his patience, even if Prompto was fairly certain Noct was plotting to scramble up on to his back the next time they conveniently ‘lost’ Ignis.

“Centaur feet are so weird,” Noct muffled into his hindquarter shoulder, pulling him from his thoughts. He coughed awkwardly, eyes drawn to a tv screen above the large display case. Clearly Noct hadn’t taken his own befuddlement with human feet to heart.

“I mean, technically centaurs don’t have feet,” Prompto replied, kind of distracted watching the animated video of how the musculature varied between their species (gods centaurs had a lot), so he didn’t really take much notice of the irritated look Noctis shot up at him.

“Oh sorry,” he said, tone more than a little smart, “your hooves are super weird.”

Prompto blinked, tilting his head down to meet his gaze.

“Uh, yeah man, humans have feet, centaurs have hooves, they’re not the same.”

Noctis shrugged, a huff escaping him. “You walk on them all the same.”

“Well, yeah, in that regard sure we both have feet,” Prompto agreed, “but that’s not- it’s to do with like, anatomy and stuff, they’re not the same.”

“He’s right,” Ignis added, plucking one of the free information pamphlets from a holder attached to the guard rail separating them from the display, “whilst many of the bones in centaur legs are similar to ones in human limbs, they are greatly altered forms of them for the most part, but the bones of our feet are not amongst them.“

Noctis sighed, rolling his eyes at the succinct explanation even as Prompto nodded along to it, returning his gaze to the tv screens. Potential crisis averted.

“So you’ve got dumb stick legs and decided to end them in hooves, you’re still walking on them so they’re still feet, not my problem you didn’t think to put fingers or toes on them.”

Ignis made that noise in the back of his throat that Prompto knew meant he was about to lay down some facts. Crisis not averted. Crisis not averted.

“Technically,” Ignis said slowly, far too pleasantly, not looking up from his pamphlet, “the entire lower portion is a finger.”

Prompto grimaced. Woop, there it is.

“What?” Noct said, not yet realising the magnitude of the forbidden knowledge Ignis had just let slip.

“The bones starting from below what you incorrectly assume is the knee on a centaur’s leg is actually the anatomical equivalent of a single human finger, simply fused into larger, sturdier bones, it’s rather fascinating really.”

Noctis blinked several times in quick succession, multiple emotions flickering across his face like an ultra-expressive kaleidoscope. It settled on vague apprehension.

“What?” He repeated. Prompto took an intense interest in a stop-motion video of a centaur skeleton running in slow-motion. Ignis finally dragged his eyes up from what must have been a truly enthralling read, not bothered in the least.

“From the knee-“ he made an air quote with his free hand as he said the word- “down, the leg of a centaur is comprised of what is technically the bones of the finger in a human.”

“What?”

“Are we going to do this all afternoon?”

Noctis eyes flicked from Ignis up to Prompto, then down to his forelegs, one of which he was still leant against, and an edge of panic began to pull at his face. Prompto determinedly watched the skeleton running on and on.

“You’re shitting me,” he said, only slightly desperate.

“Language,” Ignis reminded, returning to his reading, though Prompto didn’t miss the tiny smirk of amusement quirking the corner of his lips. Noctis’ head flipped from Ignis, back to Prompto’s forelegs, to his own hand (fingers outstretched), then back to the immaculately posed skeleton before them, frozen mid-stride, slightly more desperate now.

“That’s… no,” but he sounded unsure, his hand hovering before him like a bird that had just had its perch snatched out from under it. Prompto huffed, partly in amusement, partly in mortification that this was a thing they were discussing, and he finally forced himself to look down at him.

“Afraid so bud, don’t think about it too long.”

Noctis’ gaze snapped up to meet his, he looked vaguely feral.

“You’re shitting me?” He echoed himself, “you’re not walking around on four fucking fingers don’t- don’t tell me that shit.”

“Noct,” Ignis said, a tinge more warning to his tone.

“I mean, they’re not fingers anymore, if that helps,” Prompto said weakly, shifting his hooves on habit and freezing when Noct lurched away from him. He didn’t know whether to burst out laughing or be insulted by it all.

“Nothing will ever help this, Prom,” Noctis said, repressing a shudder, “I’m gonna be thinking about this until the day I die.”

“I do think you’re exaggerating just a little too much,” Ignis huffed, refolding his pamphlet and returning it to the stand, “it is the same for almost every kind of hooved creature on Eos.”

“Yeah but every other hooved creature doesn’t even know what a finger is,” Noctis all but hissed, still looking back and forth between Prompto’s leg and the skeleton’s, and occasionally down to his own hand, “I do though, and now I know my best friend has way too many of them.”

Prompto couldn’t help a snicker at that, well if he was going to be the subject of weird body talks then he would do his duty as Noct’s best bud. And make it weirder.

“You do realise what hooves are then, right man?” He said, smirking at the tension that instantly shot up the Prince’s spine.

“No, shut up, leave me alo-“

“Fingernails,” Prompto said at the same time as Ignis.

“Stooop.”

“What’s the matter dude?” Prompto said innocently, lifting the foreleg closest to him and lazily pawing the air a couple of times, “it never bothered you before.”

“That was before I knew they were fingers,” Noctis spat, unable to tear his gaze from his leg.

“Well, I mean, they’re not anymore,” Prompto replied, setting his hoof back to the stone floor with an audible ‘clop’, “they’re as much legs as yours are.”

“Sure, except yours could knock a guy’s head off with a single kick probably.”

“Dude!”

“Noct, don’t be crass,” Ignis reprimanded.

“What? It’s true, gods I wish you had been there when Gladio got-“

Prompto clapped a hand over his mouth, only to yank it away again with a strangled scream when Noct unabashedly licked across his entire palm, drawing a few odd looks from a couple nearby.

“Ugh, you’re nasty,” he groaned, grabbing the collar of his jacket in a death grip so he couldn’t escape when he wiped the Prince drool off on his front.

“Noct… did you just-“ Ignis sounded horrified. Noctis ignored him, instead focusing on slapping the arm holding him.

“That’s probably worth money y’know?”

“Awesome! Doesn’t mean I want it,” Prompto replied with false enthusiasm, seconds before pressing his still wet hand flat against the Prince’s face when he wouldn’t stop squirming. Noctis spat like a cat dunked in ice water.

“Animals,” Ignis mumbled, still faint with mortification, “I’m surrounded by animals.”

“Sorry Iggy.”

“Jealous cause your spit isn’t worth shit?”

“Noctis, if I hear one more swear drop out of your mouth I will see you eating nothing but vegetables for a week.”

Noctis slumped back against Prompto’s shoulder with a groan, previous apprehension on what exactly he had been leaning against apparently forgotten. Then he looked down, considering his dark, carefully kept hooves once more.

“Can’t believe that’s technically a fingernail,” he grumbled. Apparently not.

“Geez dude,” Prompto said, lightly punching the shoulder closest to him to draw any attention away from the flush he could feel heating his neck, “I haven’t seen you this worked up since you found out our shoes are nailed on.”

Noctis’s eyes narrowed with silent ire.

“I’m trying to work out which is worse.”

“Come along you two,” Ignis called, making them both jump, heads twisting as one to find he was already standing in the doorway at the end of the hall, “or else we won’t have enough time in these last sections, Noct, I’m certain you can come to grips with this revelation by the time we finish, and perhaps even find some semblance of your manners while you’re at it.”

Noctis rolled his eyes, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets and doing a piss-poor job of pretending he wasn’t pouting. Prompto snorted, reaching out to ruffle his hair (with his normal, human fingers) before striding after their eldest member. Noctis hesitated, a hand still attempting to flatten his hair in his friend’s wake as he flashed one last look between the skeletons of their two species, before huffing out a breath and following.

“Gods damned… finger feet,” he grumbled feverishly, trailing behind them.

“They’re not feet,” Ignis and Prompto said in perfect unison.

 

* * *

 

“So apparently Prompto has fourteen fingers.”

Gladio paused, blinked, finished chewing his mouthful of burger, and swallowed.

“What?”


	2. Interim Art

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hh hhh finally got time to doodle something for myself

I know the next horf boi chapter is taking way too long and it’s mostly cause uni is barely giving me any breathing room this semester so here’s a doodle of The Lads™ up to some tomfoolery to tide you over.

Playing around with that weird ol anatomy too, I find I tend to make centaurs a lot more flexible than they're often shown in media, or indeed like actual horse.


	3. Art: Horf Sketchdump

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~I got the horses in the back~

I'm out of practice with horses so The Boi is back. Sorry the next chapter is taking so long! I got a little bit distracted and also real life is a bitch;v;

Also! You can no find me on Twitter!

https://twitter.com/DoveFanworks

And I'm still on tumblr even though it's a dumpster fire, I answer questions and am open to chat on both! Questions on any of my AUs may also be answered with art or small drabbles so feel free to try your luck:3c

https://dovefanworks.tumblr.com/


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